I hate how law enforcement just accepts that the justice system is fucked up. It's like wow you're supposed to be doing this job because you want to fix things like that. I'm taking my Constitution test in a few days and I keep looking at the huge packet listing our rights and how they want to protect us just thinking it's all bull. That's sad. What has America become these days?
I was so completely against it. Just a solid no fucking way. But somewhere deep down a little part of me was more than 50% one way. I feel like that's how it usually is for most decisions but we don't realize it. Everyone has a conscience, even if it's been very very clouded over! Sometimes we just can't reach it correctly. So I went to therapy again. But this time I tried a different lady. And it was partially just to please my parents because I've put them through enough (that realization alone being part of why I don't need therapy as much anymore!) but also because I'm a very curious person and open to trying new things often. And it turns out I actually really really liked her. I feel so much more...comfortable. There's something to be said for someone who doesn't just sit there analyzing you and taking notes the whole time, but actually listens and talks to you, not one bit judgmental. That's how it's supposed to be. As well as the fact that I'm starting to see the differences between psychologists and social workers, at least in practice. Psychologists seem to rely way too much on their book knowledge! Like omigod can you just listen to me for once without making snap judgments and trying to match me up with the diagnostic patterns you've learned! The point is to use that knowledge to guide you in making decisions. School should be meant to teach you HOW to think, not teach you WHAT to think. Learn how to deal with it yourself. I mean that's what you want ME to do, right?
I feel like not having Facebook is just the right thing right now. It can help build confidence, as cheezy as that sounds. Not seeing what everyone else is saying or thinking or doing or looking like. Not having to worry about anyone else's shit. It's refreshing.
The only thing my idiot english teacher has done right: instill in me a new obsession with Zora Neale Hurston. God that woman is a genius. Whatever happened to imagination like that! Just listen to this. "Even in the helter-skelter skirmish that is my life, I have seen that the world is to the strong regardless of a little pigmentation more or less." "I belong to no race nor time. I am the eternal feminine with its string of beads." Beautiful. See THIS is the kind of stuff that makes me want to keep with my aspirations. There IS true talent out there.